What's Your Story?
52 Weeks - Week 12
“We are the stories we are told, and we are the stories we tell ourselves.” Harold R. Johnson
We all tell stories to make sense of the world and our place in it. Our stories influence our beliefs, behaviors and emotions and can help us to process our experiences. Narrative psychology is the study of how the stories we tell shape our lives and minds. Our brains use various neural pathways to form connections between bits of information from our memories, ideas, imagination, emotions and experiences and combines them into coherent narratives. Constructing stories allows our brains to comprehend and process the complexities of our lives. These stories, our narrative identity, shape our wellbeing and mental health. Storytelling activates more brain regions than rational explanations.
"Many people believe that by actively working to create a positive narrative, we can create positive changes in our lives.” Macala Rose
Our stories affect us (and others) on so many levels, if we get too rigid or negative, it will impact how we think, feel, and act in our day-to-day lives. Awareness of what we say that doesn’t feel good, noticing our reaction, pausing and thinking about it, can lead to a healthier narrative.
Strategies for telling a better story
1. Awareness of Your Thoughts. Pay attention and notice your thoughts, especially when they are negative, limiting, critical, or demeaning. As you practice doing this, you’ll be able to observe your thoughts without becoming too attached. This is the foundation to changing your story.
2. Recognizing Negative Thought Patterns. When you can identify your negative thoughts and narratives you will begin to notice what sets them off. It could be a number of things: a triggered past memory, hunger, someone was mean to you, disappointment, or whatever it is for you. This is your story and if it makes you (or someone else) feel bad, it is not helpful or accurate. This is when you can challenge your own thoughts with more realistic and positive alternatives.
3. Choosing a Better Story. What you choose is up to you, and it may take some thoughtful consideration. Find stories that empower, support and feel honest to you. We have so many stories about so many things, many are trivial but these are good places to begin. As we notice changes in our lives as our stories change, we gain the confidence to examine and change our more important stories.
“Bottom Line: Shifting the way you think, talk, and write about major life events can influence your life moving forward.” Dr. Samantha Boardman
Resources
Two of these resources are the websites of Brené Brown and Byron Katie, both of whose work revolves around the stories we tell ourselves. Each has many amazing books and podcasts to explore.
How to Reckon with Emotion and Change Your Narrative
The Stories We Tell Ourselves: Your Mind Needs the Narratives it Creates
Journal Prompts
These are hard and important questions and if you aren’t happy, they may open doors to freedom from the oppression of what you have believed to be true.
· What’s my main story? (It could be any one of your many stories.)
· Does it serve me? If so, yea! If not, can you change it? Explain.
· Who am I without that story?
· What stories do I tell that perpetuate my negative past/pain?
· What new stories can I create to envision a more fulfilling life?
· How can I use my story to create more space in my life for possibility and change?
· What do I need to let go of in order to create a new story?
· What do I need to do to make my story come alive?
Final Thoughts
We are our own self-fulfilling prophesy. The stories we tell ourselves and others about who we are dictates who we are. It’s scary and amazing at the same time that we have so much power over who and how we are in the world. Have courage, tell the story of who you want to be, and eventually, you may become that. It takes focus, presence and calling yourself on your own BS. In the words of Byron Katie, “Who would you be without your story?” Something worth thinking about.