“Asking ‘what-if’ is like dipping your toe into still waters. You never know how those ripples will change your life.” FireflyScout.com
What-ifs are the perfect question to ask yourself if you want to think about changes in your life, career, relationships, or whatever it is you want to do differently, but don’t know exactly what it is you want or how to start. What-ifs can be an exploration into the unknown. They are a safe first step forward to somewhere new. You can explore the possibilities within your imagination and weigh the pros and cons of any idea you think of. What-if questions are a way to examine your plans before you make them and your goals before you set them. They are a way to get moving without leaving the comfort of your couch.
“The more often you say what-if and follow it with words that describe a negative scenario, the more often you focus your attention on a potential negative future.” Nina Amir
However, there’s a catch. Research has shown that people have a ‘negative bias’ and tend to focus more on the bad things as they try to make sense of the world. (There is a lot of research on this which I won’t go into here but there are links to articles in the Resources section.) Most people only ask what-if questions when times are tough, money’s tight, relationships are rocky or whatever the dilemma is. We naturally focus on the problem rather than the solution, and so imagine the worst-case scenarios: What if I lose my job? What if I get sick and can’t go to work? What if I don’t make enough money to pay my bills? What if I can’t afford childcare? What if I can’t make the car payments? What if I (you fill in the blank)? It’s an endless downward spiral and we’ve all been there. Negative what-if questions DO NOT HELP!
“Ask yourself positive what-if questions and begin imaging the positive future you desire.” Nina Amir
Positive what-ifs give you an opportunity to see into a potential future, a chance to examine the possibilities without risk. It takes more intention and focus to teach ourselves to reach for the good scenarios but once you get going and imagine something you want, your mind will reach for the next logical positive what-if scenario: What if I get my dream job? What if I make more money than I ever have before? What if I buy a house? What if I go on that trip to the South Pacific? What if I am so good at my work I am promoted? What if I (you fill in the blank)? Have fun. Be creative. Give yourself a chance to peek into your future without limits, as if you could be, do or have anything you wanted.
What-If Questions Practice
Our lives have all kinds of drama and that provides us with lots of opportunities to ask the what-if questions. Basically, this is a chance to be more conscious of our daily doings, more aware of the things that we can change for the better, and more mindful in our search for the magic in our lives.
Morning what-ifs: to do before you get out of bed. Make up questions and answer them to set yourself up for a great day. What if I had a super good day because I… ? Tell yourself about your day. What if I accomplished (you fill in the blank) today? What if I chose to have a joyful day? Like that!
Evening what-ifs: to do after you’re in bed at night. Use this time to reflect on your day. What if I did more of (that thing that made my day so good) tomorrow? What if I did less of (that thing that made my day unpleasant) tomorrow?
Catch your negative self-talk and rephrase it using positive what-ifs. What if I wasn’t so hard on myself? What if I cut myself some slack and realized everyone has accidents/issues/dilemmas? What if I looked at my good qualities for a change?
Personal/spiritual what-ifs. What if you asked yourself questions following the trail into your heart to your deepest desires? What if I could hold the peace and love I feel in meditation all day long? What if my heart stayed open no matter what happened? What if I stopped judging others and saw the divine in them? What if I looked into the mirror each morning and said hello to the divine in me?
Future what-ifs. Make it a game. Play with your friends, especially when you are complaining or whining about your lives. What if I had unlimited resources, what would I do? And everybody’s favorite: what if I won the lottery? Get those wild and crazy ideas out in the open. Pull out the stops on those hidden dreams you’ve never shared.
Resources
The first article is about the natural tendency of humans to respond in negative ways. The other articles are about what-if questions and why they are relevant.
Is Your Life Focused on the Question, “What If?”
60+ Hypothetical Questions to Ask Your Friends, Family, or Partner
4 Ways to Ask Yourself ‘What If’
Journal Prompts
· Write down a meaningful what-if question. Reflect thoughtfully on your answer and write it down.
· Repeat with a new what-if question.
Final Thoughts
“What-if questions can motivate you to dream bigger.” Sajeta U
What-ifs are another way to become conscious of our thought processes, especially the negative ones. These questions are a tool to open the mind to exciting avenues of thought we don’t normally traverse, way-out-there ideas that tend to be stuffed in a mental closet, or just an I-need-a-change-from-my-normal-way-of-thinking about stuff! Dig up that treasure chest locked in your brain. What-ifs are your shovel!