Moment of Choice

52 Weeks - Week13

“Choice is the most powerful tool we have. Everything boils down to choice. Every choice we make shuts an infinite number of doors and opens an infinite number of doors. At any point we can change the direction of our lives by a simple choice. It is all in our hands, our hearts and our minds.” tinybuddah.com

We make thousands of choices each day. In fact, researchers at Cornell University estimate that the average adult makes about 35,000 remotely conscious decisions every day, and accounting for sleep, that’s 2,000 decisions per hour! The way we cope with so many is that up to 90% of our decision making is unconscious.

The other 10%, the moments of choice that matter to your heart and spirit, are those turning points when time stands still long enough for you to see that you are at a crossroads. In that infinite second, you can look in both directions and make your choice. Once committed, you go racing down that road, and hopefully, it’s the right choice, the one that makes you feel better.

“At any moment, you have a choice, that either leads you closer to your spirit or further away from it.” Thich Nhat Hanh

For me, these moments have been emotional relationship stuff that usually ended up as a choice between being right (sticking to my guns), or letting go (compromising and finding balance). These moments are always about my inner growth. I’ve made enough bad choices and suffered the negative consequences that I rarely have to choose anymore—or better said, the choice is a given. Once I learned that most of my choices were about me and another person feeling bad or feeling better, I choose to feel better. Over time, as I got better at refining the moment of choice, I found I was able to manage disagreements without drama. Most of the time.

“At every moment, we always have a choice even if it feels as if we don’t. Sometimes that choice may simply be to think a more positive thought.” Tina Turner

Not every moment of choice is a drama, but a lot are. Or it seems like it in the heat of the moment. Later, when you look back, you can wonder why you got so riled up. I think that figuring out what you want in the bigger picture of your life is helpful. If you want to feel good and be happy, that is a good guiding force for when things don’t feel so good or aren’t as happy.

“Happiness is a choice that requires effort at times.” Aeschylus

Strategies for Making Better Choices

This isn’t just about small day-to-day choices but about the big choices—the ones that matter. These could involve your career, your home situation, whatever it is, it usually involves another person(s). Finding your crossroads and taking your extended moment before you make a choice is a big deal. You are making this choice because it will make you feel better—you think, you hope. (If you read the article “As if You Had a Choice” in the Resources below you might change how you see the choices you make!)

1. Figure out what you want, before you go into the thick of it. If your moment of choice descends on you without time to think—and it happens a lot, do your best to stay on your feet.

2. Pay attention to what you are thinking right now. Notice your thoughts, especially when they are negative, limiting, critical, or demeaning to someone else or yourself. What’s your story? Can it change? Can you lighten up? Can you find your way through with minimal damage?

3. Breathe in and out of your heart center. Slow down, calm yourself. Find some space within.

4. Feel the moment. Feel your now. Feel the space between choosing and chosen; where you are now and where you will be after you choose. Just a sliver of space that holds all of the possibilities.

5. Look in the direction of those possibilities. Choose one—for all the right reasons. See if you can rise to the occasion and do as Thich Nhat Hanh says and make a choice that leads you closer to your spirit.

Resources

As if You Had a Choice

5 Points For Making In-the-Moment Decisions

How Many Decisions Do We Make in One Day?

Stanford Researchers Observe the Moment When a Mind is Changed

Journal Prompts

· Describe a time you had to make a hard choice.

· How conscious were you of the moment of choice?

· What did you choose?

· What did you learn from your choice?

· What would you do different next time?

Final Thoughts

It takes effort and awareness to find and utilize the moment of choice, to make it work for you. Once you’ve experienced that moment where time stalls and you can feel/see your choices laid before you—you’ve got this. Each time you make a conscious decision, you grow. That’s the point—to me anyway.